1. I have to put down my glass of wine.
2. Apparently I now have 2 obsolete wardrobes as spandex is no longer acceptable gear.
3. Cheerful instructors who joyfully announce after the “warm up” (as you, the sweaty pig, attempt to drink water to avoid passing out), “Okay, now we can start!”
4. The fact that my previous night’s debauchery, aka Happy Hour (see #1), starts sweating out of my pores for no reason and everyone stares at me funny.
5. The fact that I have to withstand aforementioned staring, in horribly out of date, mismatched wardrobe (see #2), while looking through my crotch as I bend into position to “warm up.”
6. If attempting at home to avoid previously mentioned humiliation, watching my 4 year old move fluidly while I struggle to get my 2nd stomach out of the way…pranayama to yo’ mama!
7. The instructor, on video or up close and personal, reminds you to breathe (and as you are so intent on NOT looking like a schmuck)–you actually NEED the reminder!
8. Why does anything that gets me “in perfect alignment” have downside of producing the loudest farts?
9. Please explain how balancing on my hands improves my life? Am I trying out for the circus?
10.”Lowering to chatarunga” is actually coherent jargon and not something pornographic.
And, as a 1st time blogging bonus….
11. Vaginal sweat?! Mmmm, attractive!
Namaste!
Hi! Don’t you remember the time we went to yoga class drunk? Everyone was staring at us because we were ruining it with the snorting, giggling, and stumbling?
You most certainly do not have to put the wine down!!! In fact, it makes the balancing poses that much more impressive.
I say we open up a yoga/wine bar.
Vag sweat conjures up so many wrong pictures in my mind…
ewwwwwwwwww!
Great posting – All of which are reasons for solo excersize. That and the whole looking-like-an-idiot thing.
Love the blog.
A sincere note from the lazy chick wasting away on her comfy couch (aka: Sista!)